Wednesday, November 17, 2010

An honest to goodness stay at home mom...

First things first- day 3 of rigorous sleep training a success in my book! For the first nap and bed time, baby fell asleep while nursing. For what would have been her long afternoon nap (if we didn't have to go to the dr) she was screaming her lil head off and arching her back so I had to put her down in her bed. Within a minute she just kind of sighed and fell cozily to sleep! It was like she needed to be in her bed to sleep!!! Since her other lil naps were during car rides or one in her aunt's arms, I know that won't always be the case, but that has to be a step in the right direction!!!!

Another success of her sleep training is she has become much less interested in her pacifier (also known as binky or bink-bink to her) and better at self-soothing. It is all kinds of awesome :)

Now on to what tonight's blog is really about- the realization that I am truly a for real, honest to goodness, stay at home mom. On purpose. And long term. The realization hit me kind of slowly. I was a stay at home mom for the first 3 months of Haylie's life, went to work for a couple weeks then my husband and I agreed that it was best for all three of us if I stayed home. I love it. I love it soooo much! My daughter and our family (extended family included) are my world and it's sooo amazing to be able to concentrate on that for most of my time. It's also so great to know this isn't just a temporary thing. When Haylie was first born, I was just home with her until I found a job. Now it's semi-permanent. I'm home as long as we can swing it. This is my new day-to-day life! However, there are downsides to this realization as well.

My biggest fears accompanying this transition are finances and future career opportunities. I'm very worried about how we're going to live off of one income. Especially when Kris gets sick. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it on here yet or not, but my husband, Kris has Crohns disease and has a bad flare up once a year or so but gets sick fairly easily. The second worry, career opportunities, is obviously looking into the future. For the past few years, I was a pretty hot commodity in the business world. I'm professional, highly trained, tested at expert levels on many computer applications, smart and well read... Oh yeah, I was golden. But as you can imagine for any computer based professional, once you're out of the game for a few software releases, you can become just as out of date as the software itself! ++shudders++ I hope that doesn't become me... Granted, my career goal is no longer to become a high power executive so I may end up going back to school and making a career change. Teacher maybe? Follow up on my psychology training and go into that? Who knows.

For now, the only thing I hear calling my name is dreamland! Baby's been asleep for about an hour now, it's about time I follow suit. Good night blog land and any readers that may find this. BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop

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